Welcome to Lefty Links: A Site for Left-Handed Golfers!
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May 6, 2008
The Players Championship Predictions
Next up, the Players Championship at TPC Sawgrass in Florida, the “fifth of four majors.” Reminds me of a girl I know who was born with the “sixth of five” toes. It was removed surgically, and they did a great job, in my opinion—but I guarantee the surgeon didn’t get $1.71 million for his/her work. Yes, that is me laboriously trying to bring this back to golf—the winning golfer this Sunday will receive $1.71 million for his efforts. And that, my friends, is why the Players Championship has a field worthy of a major. We’re talking the largest purse in golf here. I wouldn’t be surprised, although I’m too lazy to do the research, if this is the largest purse for an individual in all of professional sports.
Speaking of third nipples (okay, we weren’t, but I’m still riffing on the “fifth of four majors” thing)—did you know that up to 3% of people have a third nipple? Not really relevant, I know, but I just learned this and had to get it off my chest. (Get it? Yeah, sorry.) And, before I wrap up the silliness and get down to my deadly serious fantasy golf predictions, let me just say, for the record, that I’m squeamish and hate the sight of blood, but for $1.71 million, I would remove someone’s sixth toe, or third nipple, with my teeth.
Okay, now that I’ve offended and driven away half my audience, on to my 10 picks for the Players Championship this week:
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